For some lower-back pain sufferers, agony flares up when they bend forward. For others, arching backward is a wince-inducer. Regardless, if either of these sounds like you, sex can seem like a bad idea—an activity sure to cause at least as much pain as pleasure.
There is no one sex position that will be most comfortable for all [back-pain patients], says Natalie Sidorkewicz, a doctoral researcher at Canada’s University of Waterloo who has coauthored two research on the spinal movements of back pain sufferers who are male or female during sexual activity. However, we have developed recommendations for women with different categories of back pain triggers.
But there are workarounds for almost every back pain patient. We’re talking about sex positions and guidelines that can mitigate or remove the pain, and so allow you to fully enjoy those intimate times with your partner. (Another way to ramp up your pleasure: a couples vibrator. One woman says this sex toy gave her the most intense orgasm of her life.)
What Type of Pain Sufferer Are You?
According to Sidorkewicz, the majority of people with back discomfort fall into one of three categories:
- Flexion-intolerant back pain patients. According to Sidorkewicz, this person’s discomfort typically gets greater when they lean forward, such as when they pick up a pen off the ground. She goes on to say that gardening, tying shoes, and extended sitting could all be painful.
- Motion-intolerant back pain patients. According to Sidorkewicz, any deviation of the spine from a neutral, upright-standing, or laying-down position may cause discomfort to the person’s back.
- Extension-intolerant back pain patients. According to Sidorkewicz, backward-bending motions or activities cause pain for these patients. Many back-arching yoga poses are bad for you, as is trying to push yourself up while resting on your stomach.
The Best Sex Positions For Pain-Free Sex
The right position varies depending on which type of movement causes you pain.
For women who have pain when arching backward, flip that advice around, she says. Side-lying or doggy-style positions will likely increase back pain, while the missionary position—especially with your knees bent up—is likely to be most comfortable, she explains.
Knees-up missionary is also a great position for motion-intolerant back pain patients, she says. Stay away from doggy-style, which causes the most amount of lower-back movement.
For women who feel pain when bending forward, the missionary position is likely to make things worse, Sidorkewicz says. Meanwhile, side-lying and kneeling positions—yes, that means doggy style— are likely to be most comfortable, she says. Just be sure to support yourself using your hands, not your elbows, to keep your back from painful downward-bending positions, she adds. (Good news for you! Doggy style and spooning both made this list of 5 sex positions guaranteed to boost your bond with your partner.)
If you’re in any kind of laying-down position, like missionary, it can help to put a pillow or rolled-up towel under your lower back for extra spine stabilization and support, Sidorkewicz says. Also, if you’re on your hands and knees, try to maintain the natural curve in your lower back, she says. (If vaginal dryness is what’s causing you pain during sex, try a safe lube like Wet Organics 100% natural aloe-based lubricant.)
Sidorkewicz’s research didn’t examine women-on-top positions, unfortunately. But if those are your jam, her research on men suggests trying different methods of supporting yourself while on top—leaning forward on your forearms, instead of on your hands, say—may provide relief.
It might be wise to avoid morning sex if your back pain is associated with any form of disc problem, she advises.
Why? Our discs are highly pressurized, and expand first thing in the morning, she explains. But getting up and moving around for an hour relieves about 90% of that extra pressure and expansion, making sex more comfortable.
