Key Point
It may be tough to tell if your boyfriend is hiding information from you or if his shutdown is the result of a trying time in your relationship. He might be good at being physically faithful, but what about emotional faithfulness?
What About Me author Jane Greer, PhD, claims that because emotional ties are less defined than physical relationships, they are harder to recognize. Avoid Letting Selfishness Hurt Your Relationship. Whether a friendship has evolved into something more is not always evident, particularly when the changes are as minor as lingering glances. If you have a gut feeling that something is off, here are seven signs that your significant other might be having an emotional affair. If more than one applies, consider discussing to clear up any misunderstandings.
Your Sexual Life Has Either Significantly Improved Or Declined
An increased likelihood of having sex with one’s spouse can occur when a person is having an emotional affair that hasn’t turned into a physical one. Ginnie Love, PhD, a psychologist, says that the person he wants is represented in the relationship he is now in. Of course, every individual is different; for some, experiencing an increase in emotional connection with someone new causes a major fall in their degree of sexual desire in their present relationship.
He Drops Her Name Constantly
Love feels that it’s impolite and inappropriate to bring up our friends often, even though we do Emotional sometimes. Emotional is a request that you contact him. And when you do, observe his reaction. According to Saltz, if he becomes very protective about their relationship, keeps saying that nothing is going on between them, or is very demanding that you trust him, Emotional could be time to evaluate his loyalty.
He seems distant or detached
If your lover is getting emotional support and attention from someone else, he might stop telling you intimate things about his life. Love says that we prefer to focus on the things that most appeal to us and that we only have so much emotional energy to spare. Over time, this may also lead to physical dissociation. Love says it’s an important red flag that has to be addressed if your partner is spending the time he used to spend with you on someone else.
You’re Starting To Feel Like The Third Wheel In Your Relationship
Suppose your significant other shows up at a party with his friend. If your husband leaves you alone to attend to her needs straight away, that is a serious red flag. According to Greer, you could not be in a stable relationship if you begin to feel that you’re not the only one in the relationship and that nothing important is being discussed with you first.
His Attitude Toward You Has Changed
In addition to withdrawing, he might start praising his new interest and criticizing you—for instance, by dismissing your movie preferences or your culinary skills, even if he never seemed to care about these aspects of your personality previously. According to Love, he can evaluate you in this particularly dangerous area without even recognizing Emotions since he’s thinking about what it would be like to be with her and seeing you as an idealized version of her.
He Argues With You Differently
If you’re hearing new and surprising comments from him in response to long-standing disagreements, it can mean that he’s been talking to her about your marital issues and listening to her interpretation. Saltz surmises that she probably reacts this way when he informs her about your disagreements, and he uses it as fodder for your disputes.
If you see several of these signs in your significant other and you can’t shake the bad feeling, it’s best to be open and honest about your concerns as soon as you can. According to Saltz, bring it up by saying that you feel your spouse has become distant and that you think this is because of the closeness they have developed with someone else.
Recognize that you want them to stop, discuss any problems, and make a fresh commitment to your relationship. However, you can’t proceed until the emotional affair ends. Speaking up about your hurt and concerns doesn’t indicate placing blame; instead, it demonstrates your willingness to put in the work and your concern for the success of your relationship.
His Tech Habits Have Changed
According to Love, it may be a red flag of a problem if someone who never texted much suddenly develops a phone obsession or spends a lot more time on social media. If he starts to conceal information about the persons he is still in contact with, this could also be interpreted as a subliminal admission of guilt. A doctor and The Power of Different author claims that According to Gail Saltz, MD, He evades and avoids, believing that what you don’t know won’t hurt you, because he knows on some level that what he’s doing isn’t quite right and that you’d understandably feel jealous.