No one likes to entertain the prospect of their partner being physically or emotionally abusive. However according to a study published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, there’s no uniform motive for partner abuse—and adopting safeguards could be what helps a person survive that situation. Is a relationship possible that you are being verbally abused and are unaware of it? Here’s what to look out for.
Beyond the scope of this study, the American Psychological Association reports that more than one in three women and more than one in four men have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime in the United States, with interpersonal violence accounting for the majority of female homicides and pregnancy-related injury-related deaths. (Sign up here to receive the FREE newsletters from Prevention and get the information you need for your health and happiness.)
Then there are the outward indicators that your partnership might be headed toward peril. According to Durvasula, damaging property during arguments—such as striking walls and smashing objects—is an indication of dysregulated rage or mood swings that may get worse in the future. (You must not overlook these 11 suggestions for controlling your rage.)
The questions inquired about minor and severe acts of aggression, like pushing and kicking, sustained injuries, and emotionally abusive behavior, such as suspiciously questioning where your partner has been to belittling them in front of other people.
The findings showed that while only 30% of participants had physically abused someone, 95% of them had done so emotionally. Why? Women who are unable to vocally express themselves often turn to abuse as a form of anger management, emotional retaliation, or, shockingly, stress relief. According to the study, this shows that controlling one’s anger and stress may help prevent partner violence.
What then is a good path of action? Prevention is key, particularly because abuse is a pattern that is difficult to break, according to Ramani Durvasula, PsyD, vice chair of the APA’s Committee on Women and a psychology professor at California State University, Los Angeles. Once you allow someone to mistreat you either verbally or physically, you set a bad example and stop communicating with your partner.
Insults
The same holds for slights. If it’s easy to use defamatory words in arguments or undermine another person, then pay attention, she cautions. relationship is abuse, and the damage a relationship causes can be immense. According to the American Psychological Association, it specifically increases a person’s risk for depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and actions, low self-esteem, and poor physical health. (Three ladies describe the experience of experiencing emotional abuse.)
Physical altercations
Alarm bells should go out for partners who move in for any form of push or hit, advises Durvasula. (Get to know this incredible nurse, who oversees the Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Forensic Examination Programs.)
Controlling
Beyond that, feeling controlled or like your partner is always watching you is another sign of potential abuse. Here is where partners should ask for assistance. Durvasula claims that with such assistance, a person can create a safety strategy. (See here for the APA’s rules on this.) You may make a strategy to help halt an abusive relationship before the relationship gets out of hand, even if nothing has happened yet. (These are the long-term repercussions of domestic abuse that are seldom discussed.)
Coerced or forced sex
Comparably, coerced or forced sex is also a reason for concern, according to Durvasula. When relationship occurs in a relationship, we are hesitant to refer to it as rape but whether you’re married, dating, or anything else, no means no.
Destruction of property
Then there are the outward indicators that your partnership might be headed toward peril. According to Durvasula, damaging property during arguments—such as striking walls and smashing objects—is an indication of dysregulated rage or mood swings that may get worse in the future. (You must not overlook these 11 suggestions for controlling your rage.)